An Ode to Scotch

"The proper drinking of Scotch whisky is more than indulgence: it is a toast to civilization, a tribute to the continuity of culture, a manifesto of man’s determination to use the resources of nature to refresh mind and body and enjoy to the full the senses with which he has been endowed."
(David Daiches -1969)



A smile comes every time I hear Scotch whisky hitting ice cubes in a glass. The familiar crackle from perfectly distilled liquid settling into those spaces between conjures a relaxing feeling of both mind and body. It means the day is over and uncomfortable shoes will be coming off soon.

Maybe it’s because growing up I watched my dad’s worries run from his face every time he sat in his favorite brown chair with his favorite brown drink. He’d purse those skinny lips and smoothly shake a cut glass carved with my grandpa’s initials on it, before uttering his “damn that’s good” line that became as expected as his Sunday morning bathrobe.

Indeed, the beauty of Scotch lies in the fact the whole body tastes the first sip. As much jolting as magnificent, the liquid – at least initially – brings a heavy dose of clarity to why the evening or afternoon has come. That somehow right now, maybe for the first time, you’re doing exactly what you should be doing. It all makes sense - even if sense is something your life has not made a whole lot of lately

Yet nothing about Scotch is forced and everything about it seems inevitable. A family friend once said the drink made him, among many other things, smarter, sexier, funnier and generally better company. The guy is wicked smart with one of the best sense of humors I’ve ever been around. And even though he falls on the short and balding side of the other attribute he credits Scotch with giving him, three out of four ain’t bad. In baseball, that’d be like the love child of Ted Williams and Pete Rose finding Barry Bonds’ arthritic cream.

One of the best quotes I’ve heard about Scotch came from W.C. Fields, who said, "Always carry a large flagon of whisky in case of snakebite and furthermore always carry a small snake."

Rich in history as well, the drink is largely responsible for the spread of Christianity throughout Scotland. It’s believed that missionary monks brought distillation techniques with them as they undertook the Herculean task of trying to convert the surrounding islands. It had to help people believe what they were preaching and ease the pain when they didn’t.

Today, no matter what profession our world attempts to perfect, Scotch can be found on the top shelf to provide the tidal wave for the good days and the needed flood to drown out the bad ones.

Nothing with it changes. And that’s beautiful.

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A few facts from our good friends Wikipedia, which may or may not be true:

To be called Scotch whisky the spirit must conform to the standards of the Scotch Whisky Order of 1990 (UK),[1] which clarified the Scotch Whisky Act of 1988,[2] and mandates that the spirit:

--Must be distilled at a Scottish distillery from water and malted barley, to which only other whole grains may be added, have been processed at that distillery into a mash, converted to a fermentable substrate only by endogenous enzyme systems, and fermented only by the addition of yeast,
--Must be distilled to an alcoholic strength of less than 94.8% by volume so that it retains the flavour of the raw materials used in its production,
--Must be matured in Scotland in oak casks for no less than three years,
--Must not contain any added substance other than water and coloring, and
--May not be bottled at less than 40% alcohol by volume.